#1 humor site on the 'net

Tulip Snowpath

When life hands you frozen lemons

Tulip Snowpath thanks to Freda Parker

QuotaBills
At my age flowers scare me. - George Burns

The Earth laughs in flowers. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A fox is a wolf who sends flowers. - Ruth Brown

Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

Every flower must grow through dirt. - Unknown

A root is a flower that disdains fame. - Kahlil Gibran

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

An old man loved is winter with flowers. - Unknown

You can't squeeze blood out of a tulip. - Archie Bunker

A weed is no more than a flower in disguise. - James Lowell

An old man in love is like a flower in winter. - Portuguese Proverb

Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf. - Lewis Mumford

The New Year begins in a snow-storm of white vows. - George William Curtis

The desert shall rejoice, and blossom as the rose. - Isaiah 35:1

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower. - Albert Camus

There are always flowers for those who want to see them. - Henri Matisse

There are flowers everywhere, for those who bother to look. - Henri Matisse

Tennis: a sport in which even an unseeded player can flower. - Unknown

You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming. - Pablo Neruda

Jon Snow: I'm not afraid to die.
Mormont: Nor life, I hope. - George R.R. Martin

No one flower can every symbolize this nation. America is a bouquet. - William Safire

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

We rose to bring about Eutopia,
But all we got was Dev's myopia. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

The grass withers, the flower fades
But the word of our God stands forever. - Isaiah 40:8

The only amaranthine flower on earth is virtue; the only lasting treasure, truth. - William Cowper

The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean. - Erma Bombeck

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

In the hopes of reaching the moon men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet. - Albert Schweitzer

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet. - William Shakespeare

If I had a flower for every time I thought of you... I could walk through my garden forever. - Alfred Lord Tennyson

I want flowers, I don't want to text. What does that make me? What kind of dinosaur am I? - Jennifer Garner

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

The rose is fairest when 't is budding new, and hope is brightest when it dawns from fears. - Walter Scott

I would have brung you flowers too, but I read in a magazine that they suck up all the carbon monoxygen. - Archie Bunker

I have gathered a posie of other men's flowers, and nothing but the thread that binds them is my own. - Michel de Montaigne

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is a flower. God put it here. - Willie Nelson

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it is also more nourishing. - H L Mencken

Love is like a beautiful flower which I may not touch, but whose fragrance makes the garden a place of delight just the same. - Helen Keller

It is always good to know, if only in passing, charming human beings. It refreshes one like flowers and woods and clear brooks. - George Eliot

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

A rose can say "I love you",
Orchids can enthrall,
But a weed bouquet in a chubby fist,
Yes, that says it all. - Unknown

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan

We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. - Dale Carnegie


Morse Code Portrait Illusion

Guarded Nights

Redneck Hummer

2019 Hooters Owl & Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

THIRTEEN

Sea Girl

Lord Of The Fries

Wannabe Mini

Fish Bowl Cleaner

Marital Rating Chart - Husband

Advantage of an Extra Long Straw

Squirrel Gymnast

Economic Stimulation

Financial Meltdown

Redneck Tailgate

Marital Rating Chart - Wife

Mona Lisa - Behind The Scenes

Cultivator

Hazardous Materials Data Sheet for Woman

TP Safety

Crochet Shorts

Wine Bottle Recycling

Garden Outhouse

Alberta Winter Fridge