#1 humor site on the 'net

Sonic Straw

Free with extra drink purchase

Sonic Straw thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

Drink triple, see double, act single. - Unknown

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough. - Mark Twain

I drink to make other people more interesting. - Ernest Hemingway

I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m. - WC Fields

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

That's the straw that broke the camel's neck. - Archie Bunker

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink. - Gore Vidal

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning. - Founder's Breakfast Stout

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering. - Milton Berle

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

I don't have a drinking problem. Except when I can't get a drink. - Tom Waits

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

A little learning is a dangerous thing
Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring. - Alexander Pope

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. - George Burns

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Tired Backhoe

Liftup Lunch

Stereo Bike

Yoga in Palm Springs

Bartender Spill

Tetris Logger

Pigging Out in El Paso

Foot Care

Guitar Dog

Cutout Coin Silhouettes

Tree Tattoo

Alt-Ctrl-Del Pillows

Portable GPS

Australian Cyclist

Helicopter Cuts

Holland Bike Lane - For Pros Only

Twins' First Piano Lesson

Foosball for Girls

Youth Walk

Last Selfie

Broccoli Muffins

Get Along Shirt

Rooftop Steps

It's Not My Job