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Smirnoff Women

We don't serve women here - you have to bring your own

Smirnoff Women thanks to Frank Howard

QuotaBills
What do women want? - Sigmund Freud

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. - Virginia Woolf

Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman. - Kathy Lette

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Women speak two languages, one of which is verbal. - Steve Rubenstein

Women would not be prostitutes if it were not for men. - Baroness Vickers

We're women. We have a double standard to live up to. - Ally McBeal

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

That woman is liable to come at you like a Doberman's Pincher. - Archie Bunker

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another. - H L Mencken

Love is what happens to men and women who don’t know each other. - W Somerset Maugham

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. - Groucho Marx

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

I want to be a millionaire not for the money but for the woman I will become. - Jaime Tardy

No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating. - Oscar Wilde

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men and women are created equal. - Elizabeth Cady Stanton

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally. - W Somerset Maugham

Women have a hard enough time in this world; telling them the truth would be too cruel. - H L Mencken

A man has to be Joe McCarthy to be called ruthless. All a woman has to do is put you on hold. - Marlo Thomas

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you. - Groucho Marx

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

To my eye, women get sexier around 35. They know a thing or two, and knowledge is always alluring. - Pierce Brosnan

I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman. - Virginia Woolf

After all, inside every woman, no matter how grown up she is, there is still a frightened little girl. - Sergei Lukyanenko

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men - they are far superior and always have been. - William Golding

Remember, we're fighting for this woman’s honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done! - Groucho Marx

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

The widening of woman's sphere is to improve her lot. Let us do it, and if the world scoff, let it scoff - if it sneer, let it sneer. - Lucy Stone

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

Perhaps women have always been in closer contact with reality than men: it would seem to be the just recompense for being deprived of idealism. - Germaine Greer


Redneck Car Repair

Self-Propelled Rocket

Pole Clock

Donut Holes

Insect Food Fight

Living At C Level

Little Johnny Bath

Emergency Stops Only

Portable Balance Beam

Fried Eggs - Military Style

Motorvation

Teenage Mutant Ninja Hay Bail

Driving Rain

Eddie Reward

Got Them All

Owlvis Presley

Motorcycle Limo

Runaway Tree

Human Explosion

Air Force Pilots

See You Later

Lunch Admirers

Loo View

Cell Phone Booth