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Shopping Wait-er

Shopping hours are never long enough for Wilbur's wife

Shopping Wait-er thanks to Wayne Nowazek

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Personally, I'm waiting for caller IQ. - Sandra Bernhard

A shop should be like a song of which you never tire. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

Being on a tightrope is living; everything else is waiting. - Karl Wallenda

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. - John Barrymore

I give unto my wife my second best bed, with the furniture. - William Shakespeare

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

Energy is liberated matter; matter is energy waiting to happen. - Bill Bryson

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield

My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. - Red Skelton

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. - Joey Adams

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. - Joseph Campbell

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

If you can't control your anger, you are as helpless as a city without walls waiting to be attacked. - Book of Proverbs

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

Waiting around to be perfect never amounts to anything. Don't be a waiter or you'll be serving other people. - Ian Desabrais

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan

Waiting to develop courage is just another form of procrastination. The most successful people take action while they’re afraid! - Unknown

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, "What do you have in lingerie?" She says, "More than you'll ever have!" - Phyllis Diller

I would not sit waiting for some value tomorrow, nor for something to happen. One could wait a lifetime ... I would make something happen. - Louis L'Amour

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx


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