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Shopping Wait-er

Shopping hours are never long enough for Wilbur's wife

Shopping Wait-er thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Personally, I'm waiting for caller IQ. - Sandra Bernhard

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate. - Phyllis Diller

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield

My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. - Fran Lebowitz

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. - Red Skelton

Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales. - Stephen Hawking

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. - Bertrand Russell

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. - Joseph Campbell

While waiting for a Moses to lead us into the promised land, we have forgotten how to walk. - Wendell Johnson

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

The world is more malleable than you think and it's waiting for you to hammer it into shape. - Bono

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle

To me, job titles don't matter. Everyone is in sales. It's the only way we stay in business. - Harvey Mackay

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth". - Groucho Marx

Too often, sales reps simply regurgitate their presentations and expect to land the sale. It doesn't work. - Harvey Mackay

There are two kinds of people in one's life - people whom one keeps waiting, and the people for whom one waits. - Unknown

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin


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