#1 humor site on the 'net

Romanian Auto Safety

Real men do it with no airbags

Romanian Auto Safety thanks to Andrea Robbins

Safe driving tip from Europe

QuotaBills
Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

I thought Europe was a country. - Kellie Pickler

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal. - Sigfried Hulzer

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

Europe's the mayonnaise, but America supplies the good old lobster. - D.H. Lawrence

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle. - Bob Varsha

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. - Jay Leno

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!" - Red Skelton

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Don't let the age on your driver's license determine your season in life. Everyone's growing seasons look a bit different. - Vicki Kuyper

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


Gene Lifeguard

Portable Shower

Cut-Off Deadline

Kid Disposal

Racing a 'Hot Rod'

Why Elk Have Long Antlers

Biting Shoes

Romanian Auto Safety

New Player

Hoser

Garden Gnome

Hotel Waterfall

Security Guard

Real FootBall

Burger King Street

SkeleChair

Eating Kaka

Dark Side Bus Stop

Escher Stairs

Dog Hair Coffee

Round Table

Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side

WinDoor

Welcome Doorknob