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Why Little Johnny is a great babysitter

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The Child is father of the Man. - William Wordsworth

Time is a game played beautifully by children. - Heraclitus

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose. - Steven Wright

The best thing to spend on your children is your time. - Louise Hart

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them. - Lady Bird Johnson

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm. - Bruce Barton

Children see things very well sometimes - and idealists even better. - Lorraine Hansbury

The most sophisticated people I know - inside they are all children. - Jim Henson

Children find everything in nothing; men find nothing in everything. - Giacomo Leopardi

Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. - Ruth E. Renkel

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. - Thomas Edison

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. - David Brenner

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. - Groucho Marx

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. - Clarence Darrow

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

The most beautiful thing in the world is, precisely, the conjunction of learning and inspiration. - Wanda Landowska

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. - Aristotle

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, employ someone, or forbid your children to do it. - Mona Crane

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas. - Paula Poundstone

No man should bring children into the world who is unwilling to persevere to the end in their nature and education. - Plato

Tarry a moment to watch the chaos of a playground, crayola-colored shirts of running children, all trying out their wings. - Dr. SunWolf

There's a limit to how many times you can read how great you are and what an inspiration you are, but I'm not there yet. - Randy Pausch

If I had one wish for my children, it would be that each of them would reach for goals that have meaning for them as individuals. - Lillian Carter

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

We've got to work to save our children and do it with full respect for the fact that if we do not, no one else is going to do it. - Dorothy Height

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

I've seen whales calving in the waters off Maui, and I've watched my children being born. But music is the most beautiful thing of all. - Steven Tyler

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren


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