#1 humor site on the 'net

Paper Wedding Dress

A wedding dress completely made out of divorce papers

Paper Wedding Dress thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Every love's the love before in a duller dress. - Dorothy Parker

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress. - Liz Smith

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow. - Roseanne Barr

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

Sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure. - Oscar Wilde

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

First of all you’ve got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. - George Burns

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

Anyone can get dressed up and glamorous, but it is how people dress in their days off that are the most intriguing. - Alexander Wang

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson


Cow Trampoline

Suspicious Blood Donor

Friends In High Places

Hair Cut Toupee

Finger Physio

Texas Steak

Triathlete with a Drinking Problem

Awning Truck Advertising

Racial Profiling Starts Early

Your Move

Florida Bird Flu

Croc Surfing

Zip Tie Prank

Ukrainian Power Adaptor

World's Hardest Golf Shot

India Airlines Economy Flight

Downspout Planters

Camel Walkers

Head Path

Whiskey Jig

Running Track

Body Bodice - Double OUCH!!!

DogWood

Feel-Good Story of the Year