#1 humor site on the 'net

No Pot Of Gold

Winning ways get struck down by lightning stroke

No Pot Of Gold thanks to Wayne Nowazek

How the Seattle Seahawks feel after Super Bowl XLIX

QuotaBills
Love is the only gold. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

Speak silver, reply gold. - Swahili Proverb

He buries gold who hides the truth. - Pythagoras

Wisdom is better than gold or silver. - German Proverb

Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud. - Maya Angelou

Comedy is like catching lightning in a bottle. - Goldie Hawn

He has the attention span of a lightning bolt. - Robert Redford

Electricity is really just organized lightning. - George Carlin

Death is the sound of distant thunder at a picnic. - W H Auden

I'd rather be a lightning rod than a seismograph. - Ken Kesey

The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears. - Indian Proverb

If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. - Steven Wright

Where you stumble and fall, there you discover the gold. - Joseph Campbell

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

As every thread of gold is valuable, so is every moment of time. - J. Mason

Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold. - Mark Twain

I like gold because it is a stabilizer; it is an insurance policy. - Kevin O'Leary

My mind works like lightning; one brilliant flash and it's gone. - Unknown

They say marriages are made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. - Clint Eastwood

I'm out there everyday amongst them, in the smelting pot of New York. - Archie Bunker

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. - Dolly Parton

A rainbow is the product of physics working for your appreciation of beauty. - Kyle Hill

It is better to have less thunder in the mouth and more lightning in the hand. - Apache Proverb

Giving your son a skill is better than giving him one thousand pieces of gold. - Chinese Proverb

Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul. - Democritus

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

He that has no fools, knaves, nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning. - Thomas Fuller

The same hot lightning that burns your blood with passion–– cools your fears with peace. - Aberjhani

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind. Listen to the birds. And don't hate nobody. - Eubie Blake

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me his watch. - Woody Allen

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right. - Mark Twain

A smile is the lightning system of the face, the cooling system of the head, and the heating system of the heart. - Unknown

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

Liking the Leafs is like having molten gold poured into your face. It's gold, but it's burning your face off. - Sean Cullen

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis

The difference between the right word and almost the right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug. - Mark Twain

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene


Better Lawyer

Free Gas

Multi-Pilot Jet

Face Heater

Palestinian Security Check

Segway in Rural Norway

Quad Shot

2019 Hooters Owl & Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Basketball Car

No Muff Too Tough

Broken Potted Plant Art

Six Hunnit

Snow Detour

Selfie Stuck

Organic Compromise

Wurst-Case Scenario

Fish Hat

Chain Weave Hairstyle

Florida Sewer Rat

Redneck Water Fountain

Four Husbands

Ready To Leave

Ye Olde Simple Simon

Business In Front, Party In Back