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Why Susie was X-Rayted at her performance evaluation

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1956 Chiropractic Beauty Pageant

Glamour is only an X-ray away

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Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

I went to a massage parlor. It was self service. - Rodney Dangerfield

I miss the days when homework was just colouring. - Unknown

Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed. - Unknown

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Prizes are like sashes, you can wear them and be Miss World for a bit. - Martin Amis

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Attitude is everything - shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars. - Les Brown

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

The yoga mat is a good place to turn when talk therapy and antidepressants aren't enough. - Amy Weintraub

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. - Ferris Bueller

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on a date. - Caroline Rhea

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno


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