#1 humor site on the 'net

Lost Luggage

Even statues need to beware of theft in the park

Lost Luggage thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

Behind every great fortune there is a crime. - Honore de Balzac

When everything is lost, anything is possible. - Robert Inman

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime. - G. Gordon Liddy

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Stop crime at its source - support planned parenthood. - Robert Byrne

Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it. - Unknown

A science which hesitates to forget its founders is lost. - Alfred North Whitehead

If we don't get lost, we'll never find a new route. - Joan Littlewood

Many friends have been lost by jest, but few have been gained. - Unknown

When you make weirdness into a puzzle to be solved, you make LOST. - Joseph Fink

Of all the things I've lost, it's my mind I miss the most. - Ozzy Osbourne

The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone. - George Roberts

Tis better to have loved and lost, Than never to have loved at all. - Alfred Tennyson

No opportunity is ever lost. Someone else seizes the ones you missed. - Unknown

I never stole a joke in my life. I just find them before they're lost. - Milton Berle

Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost. - Helen Keller

I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks. - Daniel Boone

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

What I spent, is gone; what I kept, I lost; but what I gave away will be mine forever. - Ethel Percy Andrus

I should rather men ask why no statue has been erected in my honour, than why one has. - Marcus Porcius Cato

Humility is a strange thing. The minute you think you've got it, you've lost it. - Unknown

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

I think you could build a couple of humans with the amount of skin lost on the reef at Pipe. - Martin Potter

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. - Erma Bombeck

Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information? - T S Eliot

My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. - Woody Allen

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

I travel without barely any luggage. Just a second set of underwear and binoculars and a map and a toothbrush. - Werner Herzog

They who meet on an April night are forever lost in love, if there's moonlight all about and there's no moon above. - Fred Saidy

Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost. - John Quincy Adams

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

Humility is becoming a lost art, but it's not difficult to practice. It means that you realize that others have been involved in your success. - Harvey Mackay

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin


Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather

Backpack Barney

My Sweet Potato

Who Needs a Guard Dog?

My Next Life

Mouse Insider

Close Ups

Redneck Camera Phone

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Redneck Cupboard