#1 humor site on the 'net

Kid Suction

Got the little sucker!

Kid Suction thanks to Shawn Kennedy

To Little Johnny, life sucked

QuotaBills
Adults are just obsolete children. - Dr. Seuss

Every child begins the world again. - Henry David Thoreau

A child is a curly dimpled lunatic. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am fond of children - except boys. - Lewis Carroll

Never have children, only grandchildren. - Gore Vidal

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. - Mark Twain

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

The childhood shows the man, as morning shows the day. - John Milton

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

A new toy is something a child uses to break his old toys. - Joe-kster

Little children, little sorrows; big children, great sorrows. - Danish Proverb

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

I have very good executives and great children. They're very good. - Donald Trump

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

If we don't stand up for children, then we don't stand for much. - Marian W. Edelman

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. - Maya Angelou

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill

I will continue to freak out my children by knitting in public. It's good for them. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million. - Walt Streightiff

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffet

People always ask me, "Were you funny as a child?" Well, no, I was an accountant. - Ellen DeGeneres

Children's games are hardly games. Children are never more serious than when they play. - Michel de Montaigne

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. - Phyllis Diller

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. - Franklin P. Jones

Parents should leave books lying around marked "forbidden" if they want their children to read. - Doris Lessing

Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself. - Abraham J. Heschel

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. - Frank A. Clark

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe

There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about. - Criss Jami

I've seen whales calving in the waters off Maui, and I've watched my children being born. But music is the most beautiful thing of all. - Steven Tyler


Five Pound Note

Selena Stopmez

AirHeads

Redneck Power Windows

Race Break

Mirror Fence

Look Both Ways

No-iPhone Kids

Dog Haircut

Loose Lips Sink Ships

Donkey Refill

Self Portrait for Squirrels

Coin Stacking

Hooking Penalty

Zebra Bus Stop

Best Friend Theft

Chewie, We're Home

Police Rides

Bird Smoker

Hot Mexican Deals

Coffin Escape

African Airlines

Who Let The Dogs Out?

Autographed Copy