#1 humor site on the 'net

Keyboard Stairs

Climbing towards the high end of the scale

Keyboard Stairs thanks to Barry McCartney

Playing the right key in a school of music

QuotaBills
He has Van Gogh's ear for music. - Billy Wilder

Wagner's music is better than it sounds. - Mark Twain

In rock music terms I'm like a dinosaur. - Belinda Carlisle

Music is a higher revelation than philosophy. - Ludwig Van Beethoven

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

Music is spiritual. The music business is not. - Van Morrison

I hate music - especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

Music is what our soul sounds like when it sings. - Xila Toro

I like your opera. I think I will set it to music. - Ludwig van Beethoven

You can't touch music, but music can touch you. - Mordecai

My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong

My music is best understood by children and animals. - Igor Stravinsky

Making music should not be left to the professionals. - Michelle Shocked

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. - Elvis Costello

Music is the art which is most nigh to tears and memory. - Oscar Wilde

Classical music is music written by famous dead foreigners. - Arlene Heath

No one can whistle a symphony. It takes an orchestra to play it. - H.E. Luccock

People haven't always been there for me, but music always has. - Taylor Swift

If in the afterlife there is not music, we will have to import it. - Domenico Cieri Estrada

A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd. - Max Lucado

Music is the divine way to tell beautiful, poetic things to the heart. - Pablo Casals

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. - Elvis Presley

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

The trouble with dancing naked is that not everything stops when the music does. - Unknown

Music has charms to sooth a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak. - William Congreve

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

Film is one of the three universal languages, the other two: mathematics and music. - Frank Capra

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

A habit cannot be tossed out the window. It must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time. - Mark Twain

Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought. - E Y Harburg

The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time. - Joe Girard

Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. - Plato

A hundred years from now, people will listen to the music of the Beatles the same way we listen to Mozart. - Paul McCartney

What's the earth with all its art, verse, music, worth -
Compared with love, found, gained, and kept? - Robert Browning

Melody is the essence of music. I compare a good melodist to a fine racer, and counterpoints to hack post-horses. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular? - David Sarnoff

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

Music embodies feeling without forcing it to contend and combine with thought, as it is forced in most arts and especially in the art of words. - Franz Liszt

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means put down. - Bob Newhart


It's Not My Job

Mathematician's Truck

Redneck Baby Stroller

Redneck Estate Sale

Blonde Car Mirror

Corn Maze Warning

Lane Closure

Texting For Dummies

Clever Weather Billboard

Tree Huggers

Australian Construction Security

India Road Assistance

Cow Walking

Cultural Exchange

Meowzart

Bonus Baby

Strawberry Heart

Water Skiing in Russia

Plumber's Party

Hand Face

Moon Harvest

Reach For The High-Hanging Fruit

CheckMate

Ship Tow