#1 humor site on the 'net

Holy Bagel

Latest in Israel cuisine - Kosher bagels

Holy Bagel thanks to Roy Turkington

QuotaBills
Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

Photographing a cake can be art. - Irving Penn

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

Once you get rid of integrity the rest is a piece of cake. - Larry Hagman

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie


This Rocks

Lifting Heavy Objects

Tomato Treat

Wrong Planet

Evaluating Something

Student Driver

Cat Milk

Guitar Pool

Facebook Africa

UniCorn

Less Is More

Taking The Bait

Puppy Circle

Prehistoric Flash Drive

Hair Weavers

Chemical Solutions

Stealth Snake

Coffee Morning

WrenchWare

Pushing The Envelope

Social Media Explained

Pumping Services

Turn Into Lanes

Bull Squirrel