#1 humor site on the 'net

Harrison Ford

Located right next to Chase Chevy, Freddy Mercury and Liam Nissan

Harrison Ford thanks to Dave Reed

Visit Harrison Ford in Wellington, Ohio to see a variety of new and used Cars and Actors

QuotaBills
Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Ford used to have a better idea; now they don't have a clue. - Steve Kravitz

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

A celebrity is a person known to many people he is glad he doesn't know. - H L Mencken

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault. - Henry Kissinger

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth. - Archie Bunker

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


Yo Mama Bin Shopping

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Walking His Fresh Food Pet

Japanese Tea Bath

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Hedge Hunter

Pilot Prop Job

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Don't Be A Stick In The Mud

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