#1 humor site on the 'net

Frost Flower

Blossom of mushroom icicles

Frost Flower thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
At my age flowers scare me. - George Burns

I like perfume and flowers. - Donatella Versace

A fox is a wolf who sends flowers. - Ruth Brown

You can't squeeze blood out of a tulip. - Archie Bunker

A weed is no more than a flower in disguise. - James Lowell

A book is like a garden carried in the pocket. - Unknown

An old man in love is like a flower in winter. - Portuguese Proverb

Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf. - Lewis Mumford

The desert shall rejoice, and blossom as the rose. - Isaiah 35:1

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower. - Albert Camus

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

There are always flowers for those who want to see them. - Henri Matisse

Tennis: a sport in which even an unseeded player can flower. - Unknown

Since the thing perhaps is to eat flowers and not to be afraid. - e e cummings

If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need. - Cicero

No one flower can every symbolize this nation. America is a bouquet. - William Safire

Won't you come into the garden? I would like my roses to see you. - Richard B. Sheridan

The best place to seek God is in a garden. You can dig for him there. - George Bernard Shaw

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken

We rose to bring about Eutopia,
But all we got was Dev's myopia. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

Always it's Spring,and everyone's in love and flowers pick themselves. - e e cummings

When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman

The grass withers, the flower fades
But the word of our God stands forever. - Isaiah 40:8

The only amaranthine flower on earth is virtue; the only lasting treasure, truth. - William Cowper

The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean. - Erma Bombeck

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

In the hopes of reaching the moon men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet. - Albert Schweitzer

The true object of all human life is play. Earth is a task garden; heaven is a playground. - G K Chesterton

If I had a flower for every time I thought of you... I could walk through my garden forever. - Alfred Lord Tennyson

I want flowers, I don't want to text. What does that make me? What kind of dinosaur am I? - Jennifer Garner

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. - Oscar Wilde

Even bees, the little almsmen of spring bowers, know there is richest juice in poison-flowers. - John Keats

The rose is fairest when 't is budding new, and hope is brightest when it dawns from fears. - Walter Scott

If Springtime crawls out of the wild mouths of flowers, then surely, Winter crawls out of mine. - Cecilia Llompart

Why buy flowers for Valentine's Day? Just go to a cemetery and collect a dozen off a few graves. - Jarod Kintz

I would have brung you flowers too, but I read in a magazine that they suck up all the carbon monoxygen. - Archie Bunker

I have gathered a posie of other men's flowers, and nothing but the thread that binds them is my own. - Michel de Montaigne

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is a flower. God put it here. - Willie Nelson

The vivacity of children is always charming, because it is always sincere. A grave child is a rose without fragrance. - Unknown

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

I value my garden more for being full of blackbirds than of cherries, and very frankly give them fruit for their songs. - Joseph Addison

An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it is also more nourishing. - H L Mencken

Love is like a beautiful flower which I may not touch, but whose fragrance makes the garden a place of delight just the same. - Helen Keller

It is always good to know, if only in passing, charming human beings. It refreshes one like flowers and woods and clear brooks. - George Eliot

Negative thoughts are like weeds in your garden and positive thoughts are the seeds of your garden, kill the weeds and feed the seeds. - Sukhi Burgen

A rose can say "I love you",
Orchids can enthrall,
But a weed bouquet in a chubby fist,
Yes, that says it all. - Unknown

Life is a child playing around your feet, a tool you hold firmly in your grip, a bench you sit down upon in the evening, in your garden. - Jean Anouilh

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown


Truck Bender

Bacon Balls

Fast Closure

Ukrainian Feast

1934 Modern Home

Fliptus

Copper Tubing Specialist

Bach Off Van

Boss Resume

Canadian Gun Shop

Hogwart's Other Bridge

Excalibutter

As The World Turns

Bird Condo

Legal Assistance For All

Chinese Law School

Do Not Stack

Stairway Chute

Walkway Not

Pirate Vacation

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Redneck Spaghetti

Wild Game Nutrition Guide

Alaska Gas