#1 humor site on the 'net

Free Gas

Have you got the Runza?

Free Gas thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Free gas with bowl of chili

QuotaBills
Free contradictions: $1. - Unknown

I'm not much of a cake person. - Daniel Radcliffe

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

Man is free at the instant he wants to be. - Voltaire

Man is not free unless government is limited. - Ronald Reagan

When I'm president, everyone gets a free pony. - Vermin Supreme

They are not free who drag their chains after them. - French Proverb

Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally. - Groucho Marx

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down. - Robert Frost

I was born a slave, but nature gave me a soul of a free man. - Toussaint Louverture

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

When we lose the right to be different, we lose the privilege to be free. - Charles E. Hughes

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other. - Eric Hoffer

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular. - Adlai E. Stevenson

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

The history of free men is never really written by chance but by choice; their choice! - Dwight D Eisenhower

In any war, the first casualty is common sense, and the second is free and open discussion. - James Reston

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

Sometimes I feel like a normal person. Sometimes I forget I'm on parole, that I'm not really free. - Jennifer Lane

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your existence itself is an act of rebellion. - Albert Camus

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

If we want a free and peaceful world, if we want to make the deserts bloom and man grow to greater dignity as a human being - we can do it. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton


Walkway Not

Pirate Vacation

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Redneck Spaghetti

Wild Game Nutrition Guide

Alaska Gas

Definition Of A Good Friend

Redneck Car Repair

Self-Propelled Rocket

Pole Clock

Donut Holes

Insect Food Fight

Living At C Level

Little Johnny Bath

Emergency Stops Only

Portable Balance Beam

Fried Eggs - Military Style

Motorvation

Teenage Mutant Ninja Hay Bail

Driving Rain

Eddie Reward

Got Them All

Owlvis Presley

Motorcycle Limo