#1 humor site on the 'net

Fish Diet Meal

Making your budget stretch farther at the supermarket

Fish Diet Meal thanks to Keith Blake

Bubba looked forward to his first salmon feast

QuotaBills
Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Unknown

Fish and visitors stink after three days. - Benjamin Franklin

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Love is the net where hearts are caught like fish. - Muhammad Ali

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton

Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

Good fishing is just a matter of timing. You have to get there yesterday. - Milton Berle

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. - Steven Wright

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


Redneck Towing

Walking His Fresh Food Pet

Japanese Tea Bath

Redneck Daycare

Hedge Hunter

Pilot Prop Job

Front To Side View

Moses' USB Tablets

Family Photo

Is Laughter The Best Medicine?

Plastered Wall Plasterer

Waffle Board

Stairway Repair

Cowboy Bubble Bath

Trunk Load

Centennial Puff

Don't Be A Stick In The Mud

Redneck Hitch Attachment

Texas Rims

Window Fall Repair

Louvre Paintings

Parking Spot For Women

Generations Past And Present

Jumping The Gun