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Doormat Spy

Personalized doormat sales are looking up this year

Doormat Spy thanks to Keith Blake

Bubba installed his own home alarm system

QuotaBills
An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

A good home must be made, not bought. - Joyce Maynard

Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope

A road to a friend's house is never long. - Danish Proverb

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. - Unknown

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. - Roseanne Barr

When the snake is in the house, one need not discuss the matter at length. - African Saying

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

Strength of character may be learned at work, but beauty of character is learned at home. - Henry Drummond

You know that I'm at death's door. But the trouble is that I'm afraid to knock. - W Somerset Maugham

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright

If we build in the desert, let the house know the desert and the desert be proud of the house. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Maybe more youngsters would stay home at nights if they were not afraid to stay alone at nights. - Herbert Prochnow

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough. - Pearl Williams

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition. - Phyllis Diller

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. - Phyllis Diller

Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window - or break down a door. - Brooke Shields

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home. - Rodney Dangerfield

What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son. - Ben Stein

We can't win at home, we can't win away. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play. - Jock Brown

A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it. - Don Fraser

My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. - Steven Wright

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. - Helen Keller


Animal Taxi

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Fork Door Handle

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One-Knight Stands

Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes