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Doormat Spy

Personalized doormat sales are looking up this year

Doormat Spy thanks to Keith Blake

Bubba installed his own home alarm system

QuotaBills
A man in the house is worth two in the street. - Mae West

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. - Unknown

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. - Milton Berle

A dreaded disease is infilteratin' our home - Archie Bunker

Heaven is home. Utopia is here. Nirvana is now. - Edward Abbey

He'd go through the house like Typhoon Mary. - Archie Bunker

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

Opportunity may knock, but you must open the door. - Unknown

He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind. - The Bible

I just heard from Bill Bailey. He's not coming home. - Henny Youngman

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open. - Steven Wright

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

A consultant is an ordinary man away from home giving advice. - Oscar Wilde

All successful revolutions are the kicking in of a rotten door. - John Kenneth Galbraith

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

To be happy in the home is the ultimate result of all ambition. - Samuel Johnson

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. - Paul Beatty

I still close my eyes and go home... I can always draw from that. - Dolly Parton

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. - Roseanne Barr

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Unknown

Tell her I ain't crawlin' home to her with my tail between her legs. - Archie Bunker

Imagination, of course, can open any door - turn the key and let terror walk right in. - Truman Capote

The present moment is the only moment available to us, and it is the door to all moments. - Thich Nhat Hanh

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park. - Dolly Parton

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright

If we build in the desert, let the house know the desert and the desert be proud of the house. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Maybe more youngsters would stay home at nights if they were not afraid to stay alone at nights. - Herbert Prochnow

May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

The most dangerous person of the world is a member of the United States Congress just home from a three-day fact-finding trip. - Johnny Isakson

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost

I am a gypsy. I haven't had a home for a long time. Call me a homeless person - I just throw everything in a bag and I'm good to go. - Taylor Kinney

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright


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