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Doormat Spy

Personalized doormat sales are looking up this year

Doormat Spy thanks to Keith Blake

Bubba installed his own home alarm system

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Every man is a king at home. - English Proverb

A good home must be made, not bought. - Joyce Maynard

A road to a friend's house is never long. - Danish Proverb

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

Opportunity may knock, but you must open the door. - Unknown

It is easier to demolish a house than to build one. - Irish proverb

Housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door. - Marcelene Cox

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. - George Carlin

At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. - Rose Macaulay

Let everyone sweep in front of his door and the whole world will be clean. - Mother Teresa

He who is outside his door has the hardest part of his journey behind him. - Flemish Proverb

Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in. - Robert Frost

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door. - Saul Bellow

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

I love contemporary art, although I wouldn't want a pickled shark in my house. - Bruno Tonioli

A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it. - George Moore

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

At the door of life, by the gate of breath, there are worse things waiting for men than death. - A.C. Swinburne The Triumph Of Time

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above, so I never have to go upstairs. - Steven Wright

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough. - Pearl Williams

How do we persevere when we're adrift at sea, severed from wherever or whomever is our 'home'? - Lois Anderson

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son. - Ben Stein

My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. - Steven Wright

Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place. - Emily Dickinson

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." - Phyllis Diller

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Steven Wright

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright


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