#1 humor site on the 'net

Detroit Counterfeit Bill

How counterfeiting works in da Hood

Detroit Counterfeit Bill thanks to Jerry VanHorne

QuotaBills
I cried all the way to the bank. - Liberace

A father is a banker provided by nature. - French Proverb

I find all this money a considerable burden. - J Paul Getty

Here's the money for our patentcy (patent). - Archie Bunker

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. - Samuel Butler

Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty. - Leo Rosten

After money in the bank, a grudge is the next best thing. - Anthony Trollope

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? - George Carlin

Enjoy money while you have it. Shrouds don't have pockets. - Virginia Esberg

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

I like my money right where I can see it: hanging in my closet. - Carrie Bradshaw

Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells. - J Paul Getty

I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money. - Marlon Brando

If a little money does not go out, great money will not come in. - Chinese Proverb

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. - Spike Milligan

Yachting: standing in a cold shower tearing up hundred-dollar bills. - Unknown

What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man? - Homer Simpson

A liberal is a man who is willing to spend somebody else's money. - Carter Glass

How much money does it take to make a man happy? Just one more dollar. - John D. Rockefeller

I can remember way back when a liberal was generous with his own money. - Will Rogers

Money can't buy you friends, but you can get a better class of enemy. - Spike Milligan

Gentility is what is left over from rich ancestors after the money is gone. - John Ciardi

I don't care how much money you have, free stuff is always a good thing. - Queen Latifah

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. - Aristotle Onassis

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more. (Friend or Money!) - Unknown

With money in your pocket, you are wise and you are handsome - and you sing well too. - Yiddish Proverb

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

I actually lost 90 pounds over the course of 15 months in order to save money on life insurance. - Derek Kilmer

Beware of those who would pay you lip service but refuse to put their money where their mouths are. - Faydra D. Fields

The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money. - Marlon Brando

Money frees you from doing things you dislike.
Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. - Groucho Marx

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. - Bill Vaughan

Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game. - Donald Trump

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. - G. Gordon Liddy

The politicians in Washington are spending trillions of dollars of our money. When are Americans going to stand up and say enough is enough? - Joe Wurzelbacher

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan


Muscle Control

Squirrel Feeder Trap

Ironic Gifts

Better Lawyer

Free Gas

Multi-Pilot Jet

Face Heater

Palestinian Security Check

Segway in Rural Norway

Quad Shot

2019 Hooters Owl & Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Basketball Car

No Muff Too Tough

Broken Potted Plant Art

Six Hunnit

Snow Detour

Selfie Stuck

Organic Compromise

Wurst-Case Scenario

Fish Hat

Chain Weave Hairstyle

Florida Sewer Rat

Redneck Water Fountain

Four Husbands