#1 humor site on the 'net

Cow Trampoline

Phyllis ruined it for everyone

Cow Trampoline thanks to Chet Miller

QuotaBills
Party honesty is party expediency. - Grover Cleveland

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party. - Proverb

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

A party without cake is just a meeting. - Julia Child

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers. - Unknown

I want to be formal, but I'm here to party. - Unknown

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. - Robin Williams

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. - Will Rogers

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. - Mark Twain

To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government. - Mark Twain

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

There are many men of principle in both parties in America, but there is no party of principle. - Alexis de Tocqueville

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity. - Lauren Bacall

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not professional anymore. - Jeff Foxworthy

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

Just keep hanging your steamers over there. You're the one who got me into this whole expensive party here. - Archie Bunker

Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease. - Michelle Malkin

I met a man at a party. He said, "I'm writing a novel." I said, "Oh, really? Neither am I." - Peter Cook

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader


Foot Care

Guitar Dog

Cutout Coin Silhouettes

Tree Tattoo

Alt-Ctrl-Del Pillows

Portable GPS

Australian Cyclist

Helicopter Cuts

Holland Bike Lane - For Pros Only

Twins' First Piano Lesson

Foosball for Girls

Youth Walk

Last Selfie

Broccoli Muffins

Get Along Shirt

Rooftop Steps

It's Not My Job

Mathematician's Truck

Redneck Baby Stroller

Redneck Estate Sale

Blonde Car Mirror

Corn Maze Warning

Lane Closure

Texting For Dummies