#1 humor site on the 'net

Cow Return

Toking good care of the marijuana harvest

Cow Return thanks to Dave Loewen

Q: Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?
A: It was the pot calling the cattle black.

QuotaBills
Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

Courage is fire, and bullying is smoke. - Benjamin Disraeli

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs. - William Shakespeare

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

She caught a touch of laryngosis from the smoke. - Archie Bunker

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. - Fletcher Knebel

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Smoking means always having to say you're sorry. - Tom Ferguson

When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself. - Bob Marley

If you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. - Woody Allen

I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin. - Gwyneth Paltrow

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. - Groucho Marx

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. - Mark Twain

Mexican marijuana, which he called the schoolboy's consolation. - James Purdy

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something. - George Burns

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. - Mark Twain

It was really strange to see all these apes standing around eating popcorn, smoking, wearing sunglasses. - Estella Warren

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is a flower. God put it here. - Willie Nelson

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

Mason took in enough cannabis smoke to allow a Lipan Apache manipulating a blanket over it to transmit the complete works of Tennyson. - Richard Condon

I definitely believe marijuana helps with menstruation. Since I started smoking pot, my girlfriend’s period has become painless for me. - Randy Kagan

She's not a pothead. That thing on her neck is a vase. And anyway, I'm all for legalization. After all, why should surrealism be illegal? - Jarod Kintz

Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn't the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit... unnatural? - Bill Hicks

Free speech is not to be regulated like diseased cattle and impure butter. The audience that hissed yesterday may applaud today, even for the same performance. - William O. Douglas

Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane. - Robert Orben

It really puzzles me to see marijuana connected with narcotics... dope and all that crap. It's a thousand times better than whiskey - it's an assistant - a friend. - Louis Armstrong

Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. - Dwight D Eisenhower

I have always loved marijuana. It has been a source of joy and comfort to me for many years. And I still think of it as a basic staple of life, along with beer and ice and grapefruits - and millions of Americans agree with me. - Hunter S. Thompson

The illegality of cannabis is outrageous, an impediment to full utilization of a drug which helps produce the serenity and insight, sensitivity and fellowship so desperately needed in this increasingly mad and dangerous world. - Carl Sagan


Dr. Hedgehog

Flower Frame Heels

I'll Be Right There

Frankfurt Subway Entrance

Winter Deflation

Baby Papaya Crossing

Cat Tofu

Dad Sandwich

The Untangler

Glendambo Welcome

Leaning Tower Of Pisa Dog

Slim People Bathroom

Soothing Hairstyle

Truck Driver Birth

Spider Trap

Nice Day For A Ride

Motion Picture Selfie

Winter Mirror

Is This Really Happening?!

House 'Broke'rage

2019 Hooters Owl & Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Restaurant Valentines

Cute Puppy

Unhappy Valentine's Day