#1 humor site on the 'net

Child Instrument

What are you proficient with?

Child Instrument thanks to Howard Chapman

QuotaBills
Genius is sorrow's child. - John Adams

Success is the child of audacity. - Benjamin Disraeli

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

It takes a whole village to raise a child. - African Proverb

Inspiration and genius - one and the same. - Victor Hugo

The best way to make children is to make them happy. - Oscar Wilde

The best thing to spend on your children is your time. - Louise Hart

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children. - Sam Levenson

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

Children should neither be seen nor heard from - ever again. - WC Fields

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed. - Maria Montessori

You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. - Jack London

Four very powerful words to say to your child: "I believe in you." - Kevin Heath

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. - Groucho Marx

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

We do not inherit the earth from our parents. We borrow it from our children. - Unknown

Peace will come when the Arabs will love their children more than they hate us. - Golda Meir

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty. - Unknown

Setting a good example for your children does nothing but increase their embarrassment. - Doug Larson

If you're going to write a book on how to raise children, do it before you have them. - Bob McLaren

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

It's not that age brings childhood back again. Age merely shows what children we remain. - Goethe

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit. - Bill Cosby

While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about. - Angela Schwindt

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration and inspiration. - Evan Esar

Eddie discovered one of his childhood's great truths. Grownups are the real monsters, he thought. - Stephen King

A man who gives his children habits of industry provides for them better than by giving them a fortune. - Richard Whately

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

The best thing I've ever done? Well, I've created four beautiful children. You mean, other than that? - Donald Trump

Spare the rod and spoil the child - that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well. - Martin Luther

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

There's a limit to how many times you can read how great you are and what an inspiration you are, but I'm not there yet. - Randy Pausch

If I had one wish for my children, it would be that each of them would reach for goals that have meaning for them as individuals. - Lillian Carter

Play is the highest expression of human development in childhood for it alone is the free expression of what is in a child's soul. - Friedrich Frobel

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

When I know that, if I have no inspiration whatsoever, when I come and I just feel empty, I have nothing, I know that I can still play the scene. - Christopher Walken

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. - Phyllis Diller


Knot Art

Zipper Scar Tattoo

Swiss Army Mega Tools

Law of Emotion

Eiffel Tower Modifications

Joyous Lawyers

Acupuncture Face

Star Wars Episode VIII

LiverPool

Digger Dog

You Guys Make Me Sick

Chu Your Food Well

Men's Wedding Photos

Wrench Dinosaur

Suddenly An Oven

Redneck Shower Head

Twin Dish

I Finally Know Why

Finally Got The Sink Fixed

Barred

Surprise Party At The Zoo

Dog Cross

Restored Beauty

Perfect Girl