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Canadian Math

Disclaimer: hockey puck velocity may vary from rink to rink

Canadian Math thanks to Jerry VanHorne

In classical mechanics, linear momentum or translational momentum is the product of the mass and velocity of an object. In Canada, p=mv where p=puck, m=movement (as in towards an octopus), and v=velo city (in Newfoundland, eh)
QuotaBills
Canada was built on dead beavers. - Margaret Atwood

Every day is a great day for hockey. - Mario Lemieux

Hockey is figure skating in a war zone. - Unknown

I don't even know what street Canada is on. - Al Capone

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. - Henry David Thoreau

Some people like to eat octopus. Liberals, mostly. - Russell Baker

Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries. - David Hilbert

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin

Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown

"Obvious" is the most dangerous word in mathematics. - Eric T. Bell

If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Francis Bacon

In Canada, nobody is ever overthrown because nobody gives a damn. - Mordecai Richler

You have to know a man awfully well in Canada to know his surname. - John Buchan

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them. - John von Neumann

Like the crest of a peacock, so is mathematics at the head of all knowledge. - Indian Proverb

Physics is the only profession in which prophecy is not only accurate but routine. - Neil deGrasse Tyson

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

I'm kinda disapointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was. - Joel Madden

Canada is a good country to be from. It has a gentler slower pace - it lends perspective. - Paul Anka

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

I think every entrepreneur in Canada owes the next generation a road map of how to do it again. - Kevin O'Leary

If everybody in the world dropped out of school, we would have a much more intelligent society. - Jaden Smith

If I feel unhappy, I do mathematics to become happy. If I am happy, I do mathematics to keep happy. - Alfred Renyi

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

I was born in Canada for a reason. It was because my parents wanted me to have the freedoms that this country offers. - Patrick Chan

The nice thing about being detained in Canada is it's like being in a Days Inn; it's very clean and very nice. - Bill Ayers

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

I have a maple leaf tattoo over my heart, quite literally, and my two favorite things on Earth are being in Canada and making movies. - Jay Baruchel

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas


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