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Canadian Math

Disclaimer: hockey puck velocity may vary from rink to rink

Canadian Math thanks to Jerry VanHorne

In classical mechanics, linear momentum or translational momentum is the product of the mass and velocity of an object. In Canada, p=mv where p=puck, m=movement (as in towards an octopus), and v=velo city (in Newfoundland, eh)
QuotaBills
Scotland is the Canada of England. - Rainn Wilson

Canada first, Canada last, Canada always. - Wilfrid Laurier

All science is either physics or stamp collecting. - Ernest Rutherford

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. - Robin Williams

Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin

Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown

"Obvious" is the most dangerous word in mathematics. - Eric T. Bell

If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Francis Bacon

For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey. - Jeff Garlin

You have to know a man awfully well in Canada to know his surname. - John Buchan

It should be possible to explain the laws of physics to a barmaid. - Albert Einstein

The greatest hockey player who ever lived: Bobby Orr, and I love him. - Donald S. Cherry

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

A rainbow is the product of physics working for your appreciation of beauty. - Kyle Hill

Mathematics consists of proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way. - George Polya

We live in a Newtonian world of Einsteinian physics ruled by Frankenstein logic. - David Russell

It would be better for the true physics if there were no mathematicians on earth. - Daniel Bernoulli

When God created the world, he didn't draw a line between Canada and America. - Marianne Williamson

I study myself more than any other subject. That is my metaphysics, that is my physics, - Michel de Montaigne

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Canada is a good country to be from. It has a gentler slower pace - it lends perspective. - Paul Anka

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

I think every entrepreneur in Canada owes the next generation a road map of how to do it again. - Kevin O'Leary

You do not play hockey for good seasons. You play to win the Stanley Cup. It has to be the objective. - Guy Lafleur

If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia. - Margaret Atwood

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it. - James Newman

Canada's political parties spend a few years in opposition and then govern as if it's permanent payback time. - Bob Rae

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

I have a maple leaf tattoo over my heart, quite literally, and my two favorite things on Earth are being in Canada and making movies. - Jay Baruchel

Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

I found my prince - he's a hockey player and we met at an NHL event, the last place I'd ever expect to meet someone, but there he was. - Carol Alt

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen


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