#1 humor site on the 'net

British Kingdom

The difference between Great Britain, the UK, and the British Isles

British Kingdom thanks to Bryan Harrap

How United is the United Kingdom?

QuotaBills
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley

What Britain needs is an iron lady. - Margaret Thatcher

England is a nation of shopkeepers. - Napoleon Bonaparte

There's no map to human behaviour. - Bjork

My first occupation was to map the country. - John Hanning Speke

Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce

Somewhere there is a map of how it can be done. - Ben Stein

It is not down in any map; true places never are. - Herman Melville

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

To stay on the map you've got to keep showing up. - Peter Gallagher

He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King

I'm just the smallest dot in a big map of human history. - Ben Casnocha

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

Ideologies do not map the complete living processes of a World. - William Irwin Thompson

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

There'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood. - Bob Hope

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

The first thing that put me on the map was my Sherlock Holmes novel. - Nicholas Meyer

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

I've never had a clear road map. When things come along, I benefit. - Greg Kinnear

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Satellite imagery is the only way we can map the looting patterns effectively. - Sarah Parcak

I have an existential map; it has "you are here" written all over it. - Steven Wright

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

True navigation begins in the human heart. It's the most important map of all. - Elizabeth K Lindsey

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

An opening statement is like a guide or a road map. It's a very delicate thing. - Johnnie Cochran

We're all pilgrims on the same journey, but some pilgrims have better road maps. - Nelson DeMille

All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination. - Earl Nightingale

Wars of nations are fought to change maps. But wars of poverty are fought to map change. - Muhammad Ali

You still can't find Israel on a map of the Middle East in a Palestinian schoolbook. - Suzanne Fields

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation. - Meryl Streep

The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard

I think every entrepreneur in Canada owes the next generation a road map of how to do it again. - Kevin O'Leary

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

Larry Gogan: 'With what town in Britain is Shakespeare associated?'
Contestant: 'Hamlet'. - Larry Gogan

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

If all the ways I have been along were marked on a map and joined up with a line, it might represent a minotaur. - Pablo Picasso

If it is good to have one foot in England, it is still better, or at least as good, to have the other out of it. - Henry James

A place that doesn't welcome tourists, that's really difficult and off the map, is a place I want to see. - Paul Theroux

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

Our brain is mapping the world. Often that map is distorted, but it's a map with constant immediate sensory input. - E.O. Wilson

The minute there's a map, there is no art. Paint by numbers is not art. Paint by numbers is a mechanical activity. - Seth Godin

My idea is to make moves to bring chess back to the world's map, to make it part of the world's geography again. - Anatoly Karpov

If there be a God, I think that what he would like me to do is paint as much of the map of Africa British red as possible. - Cecil Rhodes

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

If one looks at the map of the world, it's difficult to find Iraq, and one would think it rather easy to subdue such a small country. - Vladimir Putin

Anytime I feel lost, I pull out a map and stare. I stare until I have reminded myself that life is a giant adventure, so much to do, to see. - Angelina Jolie

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin


Cow Trampoline

Suspicious Blood Donor

Friends In High Places

Hair Cut Toupee

Finger Physio

Texas Steak

Triathlete with a Drinking Problem

Awning Truck Advertising

Racial Profiling Starts Early

Your Move

Florida Bird Flu

Croc Surfing

Zip Tie Prank

Ukrainian Power Adaptor

World's Hardest Golf Shot

India Airlines Economy Flight

Downspout Planters

Camel Walkers

Head Path

Whiskey Jig

Running Track

Body Bodice - Double OUCH!!!

DogWood

Feel-Good Story of the Year