#1 humor site on the 'net

Bread Gloves

Make anything into a finger sandwich

Bread Gloves thanks to Kayla Sanderson

Eat-it-all food prodcuts on the Shopping Channel

QuotaBills
These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Whose bread I eat, his song I sing. - Germany Proverb

Bad bread wrecks my outlook on life. - Jeffrey Steingarten

What was the best thing before sliced bread? - George Carlin

If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit. - Johnnie Cochran

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

A man without a smiling face should not open a shop. - Chinese Proverb

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

A shop should be like a song of which you never tire. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

Traditional methods of sales prospecting are grossly inefficient. - Jill Konrath

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. - Steven Wright

Man does not live on bread alone: sometimes he needs a little buttering up. - John C Maxwell

The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread. - Mother Teresa

Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales. - Stephen Hawking

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with. - George Carlin

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss; we touch gloves. - Phyllis Diller

I love eating sushi and eating raw and clean - no pasta and bread. Low carbs is what works for me. - Christine Teigen

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread. - Mahatma Gandhi

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies. - Milton Berle

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other. - Chinese Proverb

Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new. - Ursula K. Leguin

People shop and learn in a whole new way compared to just a few years ago, so marketers need to adapt or risk extinction. - Brian Halligan

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul. - John Muir

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, "What do you have in lingerie?" She says, "More than you'll ever have!" - Phyllis Diller

Where our bread is concerned, it is a material matter. Where our neighbor's bread is concerned, it is a spiritual matter. - I.D. Douglas

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France


Ship Tow

Redneck Turkey Shoot

Costco Wine

Downer Parking

Baconurkey

Camel Herders of the 21st Century

Redneck Palm Pilot

Turkey Day Selfie

Spool Turkey

Meal Alert

Turkey Not

Thanksgiving Harvest Time

Turkey Wants You To Eat Pork

Going Cold Turkey

Bacon Turkey

Run, Turkey, Run

Biggest Turkeys

Turkish Architecture

Ghost Food

Turkey Weather Forecast

'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

Redneck Car Upgrade

Box Fill Overload

Hiding Horse