#1 humor site on the 'net

Wrap Around Tree

At least the tree lived through the car accident

Wrap Around Tree thanks to Keith Blake

That's a wrap!

QuotaBills
Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

Trees often transplanted seldom prosper. - Flemish Proverb

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. - Moliere

Stardom isn't a profession, it's an accident. - Lauren Bacall

If you hate where you are, move - you are not a tree. - Unknown

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?" - George Carlin

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

The clearest way into the universe is through a forest wilderness. - John Muir

I aimed at the public's heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach. - Upton Sinclair

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

It will never rain roses. When we want to have more roses, we must plant more trees. - George Eliot

Trees are not known by their leaves, nor even by their blossoms, but by their fruits. - Eleanor of Aquitaine

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

The heart of another is a dark forest, always, no matter how close it has been to one's own. - Willa Cather

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

It's better to fall from a tree and break your back than to fall in love and break your heart. - African Proverb

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

I'm always astonished by a forest. It makes me realise that the fantasy of nature is much larger than my own fantasy. - Gunter Grass

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

There comes a stage at which a man would rather die cleanly by a bullet than by the unknown terror of the phantom in the forest. - Tahir Shah

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people. - Confucius

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele


Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather

Backpack Barney

My Sweet Potato

Who Needs a Guard Dog?

My Next Life

Mouse Insider

Close Ups

Redneck Camera Phone

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Redneck Cupboard

Homeless Signs

Floor Store

Mary Go Round

City Beach Castle

Rescue Pup

Your Meal Is Ready