#1 humor site on the 'net

Walkies

Take your pet along to smell out the best food bargains

Walkies thanks to Keith Blake

Code Blue in the peanut section!

QuotaBills
Stand up and walk out of your history. - Phil McGraw

Would a fly without wings be called a walk? - George Carlin

A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit. - Sarah J. Parker

Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet. - Roger Miller

Anywhere is walking distance if you've got the time. - Steven Wright

Take a walk with a turtle. And behold the world in pause. - Bruce Feiler

One may walk over the highest mountain one step at a time. - John Wanamaker

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado

In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks. - John Muir

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. - Helen Keller

They invented wheelbarrows to teach FAA inspectors to walk on their hind legs. - Martin Caidin

My feet will want to walk to where you are sleeping, but I shall go on living. - Pablo Neruda

I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night. - WC Fields

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. - Mel Brooks

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

I am on your Walk of Fame in Toronto. My sense of humour is Canadian. But I can't vote. - Donald Sutherland

While waiting for a Moses to lead us into the promised land, we have forgotten how to walk. - Wendell Johnson

Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years. - Betsy Salkind

You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher

The heights charm us, but the steps do not; with the mountain in our view we love to walk the plains. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Respect yourself to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy. - Unknown

Walk away from anything or anyone who takes away from your joy. Life is too short to put up with fools. - Unknown

Consultants are people who borrow your watch and tell you what time it is, then walk off with the watch. - Robert Townsend

If I lose, I'll walk away and never feel bad because I did all I could. There was nothing more to do. - Joe Frazier

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

I walk like a duck: very straight up and down. Or like a penguin. It's a dead giveaway that I'm a dancer. - David Hallberg

May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings

Everyone has a skeleton in their closet. The difference between Bill Clinton and myself is that he has a walk-in closet. - Pat Buchanan

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

I felt as if I were walking with destiny, and that all my past life had been but a preparation for this hour and this trial. - Winston Churchill

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

It was one of the most ancient terrors, the one that meant that no sooner had mankind learned to walk on two legs than it dropped to its knees. - Terry Pratchett

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. - Phyllis Diller


Alaska Phone Booth

How to Prepare a Man for His Funeral

Crap Flavoured Instant Noodles

Three Cats Ago

Burnt Out Driver

1-800-PILLCASH

2019 Hooters Owl & Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Bike Chaser

Bad Hair Day

Diehard Fans

Word Puzzle Clock

Skateboard Stairs

Quartz Inaccuracy

Graffiti Art

Redneck Wave Runner

Smoked Fish Poacher

Birding Skills 101

Lightweight Dumbbells

Dogs Allowed

Redneck Riding Lawnmower

Two Feet Of Snow

Stretch VW

I'm Here!

Squirrel Bagpipes