#1 humor site on the 'net

Vinyl Siding

How Bubba made record sales in house construction last year

Vinyl Siding thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Vinyl house siding makes side-show appearance

Vinyl house siding makes side-show appearance
Stuart McLean's early days at the Vinyl Cafe

QuotaBills
Music is the shorthand of emotion. - Leo Tolstoy

Music is the soundtrack of your life. - Dick Clark

The artist in me cries out for design. - Robert Frost

Without music, life would be a mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Rock and roll: music for the neck downwards. - Keith Richards

A road to a friend's house is never long. - Danish Proverb

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

There will be no whitewash at the White House. - Richard M Nixon

Music is spiritual. The music business is not. - Van Morrison

I hate music - especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

I like your opera. I think I will set it to music. - Ludwig van Beethoven

The earth has its music for those who will listen. - George Santayana

Making music should not be left to the professionals. - Michelle Shocked

Music isn't for the eyes - it's for the ears. - Adele

He's got that big house to maintain in San Clemency. - Archie Bunker

Music can be made anywhere, is invisible and does not smell. - W H Auden

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. - George Carlin

Life is a rich strain of music, suggesting a realm too fair to be. - George William Curtis

Country music has always been the best shrink that 15 bucks can buy. - Dierks Bentley

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. - Elvis Presley

Hidin' out in the house all the time, like some Bantam of the Opera. - Archie Bunker

The power of music feels like taking a a nice brake from this busy world. - Millie DeWitt

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

I think my music is like anchovies - some people like it, some people get nauseous. - Barry Manilow

I think Paul McGuinness and U2 created the Irish music industry. It certainly wasn't there before that. - Van Morrison

What sounds to you like a big load of trashy noise... is in fact... the brilliant music of a genius... myself. - Iggy Pop

What's the earth with all its art, verse, music, worth -
Compared with love, found, gained, and kept? - Robert Browning

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn. - Charlie Parker

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost

I was born by Caesarian section... but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. - Steven Wright

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

Music embodies feeling without forcing it to contend and combine with thought, as it is forced in most arts and especially in the art of words. - Franz Liszt

I've seen whales calving in the waters off Maui, and I've watched my children being born. But music is the most beautiful thing of all. - Steven Tyler


Five Pound Note

Selena Stopmez

AirHeads

Redneck Power Windows

Race Break

Mirror Fence

Look Both Ways

No-iPhone Kids

Dog Haircut

Loose Lips Sink Ships

Donkey Refill

Self Portrait for Squirrels

Coin Stacking

Hooking Penalty

Zebra Bus Stop

Best Friend Theft

Chewie, We're Home

Police Rides

Bird Smoker

Hot Mexican Deals

Coffin Escape

African Airlines

Who Let The Dogs Out?

Autographed Copy