#1 humor site on the 'net

ToileTree

An artistic arborist's bathroom

ToileTree thanks to Georgia Tuttle

Leaf it to Jethro to never run out of TP

Toiletry bags - a packing list wall
QuotaBills
Trees often transplanted seldom prosper. - Flemish Proverb

What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees? - Robin Williams

What happens in the hot tub stays in the hot tub. - Aussie Swimmer

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. - Moliere

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

Oh, that sound? I'm in the hot tub, reading a novel. - Jane Smiley

I never feel so much myself as when I'm in a hot bath. - Sylvia Plath

Preoccupied with a single leaf you won't see the tree. - Vagabond

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

Trees are not known by their leaves, nor even by their blossoms, but by their fruits. - Eleanor of Aquitaine

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

If you reveal your secrets to the wind, don't blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. - Unknown

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. - John Muir

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people. - Confucius

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


India Road Assistance

Cow Walking

Cultural Exchange

Meowzart

Bonus Baby

Strawberry Heart

Water Skiing in Russia

Plumber's Party

Hand Face

Moon Harvest

Reach For The High-Hanging Fruit

CheckMate

Ship Tow

Redneck Turkey Shoot

Costco Wine

Downer Parking

Baconurkey

Camel Herders of the 21st Century

Redneck Palm Pilot

Turkey Day Selfie

Spool Turkey

Meal Alert

Turkey Not

Thanksgiving Harvest Time