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What appears to be a bargain after too many Happy Hour drinks

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Bartender sign that packs 'em into the bar regardless

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Special kind of stanima - Archie Bunker

We are all special cases. - Albert Camus

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

In wine, there is the truth. - Pliny the Elder

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do. - Dylan Thomas

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

There are exactly as many special occasions in life as we choose to celebrate. - Robert Brault

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

My grandfather is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. - Henny Youngman

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

Let every one ascertain his special business and calling, and then stick to it if he wants to be successful. - Benjamin Franklin

I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

Anyone can make you smile or cry, but it takes someone special to make you smile when you already have tears in your eyes. - Unknown

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown


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