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Something Witty

A brewhouse that hires thought-provoking employees

Something Witty thanks to Barry McCartney

Business was slow at the bar that day

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Wit is the lowest form of humor. - Alexander Pope

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Words are the small change of thought. - Jules Renard

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Unknown

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant

It matters not what you are thought to be, but what you are. - Publilius Syrus

As a child, the only clear thought I had was "Get candy." - Jerry Seinfeld

Just one positive thought in the morning can change your whole day. - Unknown

Wit is the rarest quality to be met with among people of education. - William Hazlitt

Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where's it going to end? - Tom Stoppard

I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn. - C.E. Cowman

Idealism is the despot of thought, just as politics is the despot of will. - Mikhail Bakunin

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

I got something important here to read and sign and I gotta consecrate on that. - Archie Bunker

In conversation, humor is worth more than wit and easiness more than knowledge. - George Herbert

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words. - Robert Frost

No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

When I was with Andy Warhol, I thought, 'God, his wig looks cheaper than mine!' - Dolly Parton

If I had a flower for every time I thought of you... I could walk through my garden forever. - Alfred Lord Tennyson

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? - Laurence J. Peter

I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write well enough to sign contracts. - Hermione Gingold

The imagination exercises a powerful influence over every act of sense, thought, reason, over every idea. - Latin Proverb

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead. - Robert Brault

When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is. - Oscar Wilde

I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies. - Phyllis Diller

Our whole constitutional heritage rebels at the thought of giving government the power to control men's minds. - Thurgood Marshall

No real social change has ever been brought about without a revolution... revolution is but thought carried into action. - Emma Goldman

Don't be afraid of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

He who cannot change the very fabric of his thought will never be able to change reality, and will never, therefore, make any progress. - Anwar Sadat

There is not less wit, not less invention, in applying rightly a thought one finds in a book, than in being the first author of that book. - Pierre Boyle

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

Music embodies feeling without forcing it to contend and combine with thought, as it is forced in most arts and especially in the art of words. - Franz Liszt


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