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Russian Car Pool

I bear-ly made it in to work today!

Russian Car Pool thanks to Roy Bishop

Leaving food in cars is not very safe

QuotaBills
Support the right to arm bears. - Unknown

I can't win. Love is Russian Roulette for me. - Freddie Mercury

I'd rather write about polar bears than people. - Mary Oliver

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

All the real things in Russia are done in the villages. - Ernest Poole

Russia is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. - Winston Churchill

We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back. - Bob Hope

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income. - Will Rogers

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

In Russia, if a male athlete loses he becomes a female athlete. - Yakov Smirnoff

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

In America you can always find a party. In Russia the party always finds you. - Yakov Smirnoff

Bulls and bears aren't responsible for as many stock losses as bum steers. - Olin Miller

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

If you don't know how great this country is, I know someone who does; Russia. - Robert Frost

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances. - Aristotle

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there. - Yakov Smirnoff

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


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