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Russian Car Pool

I bear-ly made it in to work today!

Russian Car Pool thanks to Roy Bishop

Leaving food in cars is not very safe

QuotaBills
Support the right to arm bears. - Unknown

My parents put a live teddy bear in my crib. - Woody Allen

I can't win. Love is Russian Roulette for me. - Freddie Mercury

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

All the real things in Russia are done in the villages. - Ernest Poole

Russia is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. - Winston Churchill

We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back. - Bob Hope

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

The measure of a man is the way he bears up under misfortune. - Plutarch

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

In Russia, if a male athlete loses he becomes a female athlete. - Yakov Smirnoff

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

In America you can always find a party. In Russia the party always finds you. - Yakov Smirnoff

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

It's not the bulls or the bears you need to avoid, it's the bum steers. - Chuck Hillis

If you don't know how great this country is, I know someone who does; Russia. - Robert Frost

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

The Iron Curtain may be a thing of the past, but Mother Russia is as mysterious as ever. - Robert Gottlieb

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there. - Yakov Smirnoff

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman


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