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Real Chicken thanks to Dick Brighton, North Vancouver, B.C.

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Pork is my friend. - Tom Douglas

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

I don't eat sushi, but I eat cooked meat. - Drake Bell

Social media are tools. Real time is a mindset. - David M. Scott

I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. - Milton Berle

You don't have to hold your stomach in for real friends. - Unknown

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. - Fran Lebowitz

I'm such a foodie. If I see a pork chop, I'm eating it. - Josh Henderson

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

One's real life is so often the life that one does not lead. - Oscar Wilde

Real listening is a willingness to let the other person change you. - Alan Alda

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The real pros get up and go to work. - Harvey Mackay

Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present. - Unknown

The real leader has no need to lead - he is content to point the way. - Henry Miller

Real Peace is always unshakable... Bliss is unchanged by gain or loss. - Yogi Bhajan

A billion here, a billion there - pretty soon it adds up to real money. - Everett Dirksen

I'm a little worried... Brave New World seems a bit more real everyday. - Solange Nicole

Life may begin at 30, but it doesn't get real interesting until about 150. - Unknown

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

I am guilty of asking the Senate for pork and proud of the Senate for giving it to me. - Ted Stevens

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan

I've written 17 novels, and I've found out that fiction can't keep up with real life. - John Grisham

I never practice my guitar... from time to time I just open the case and throw in a piece of raw meat. - Wes Montgomery

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age; a woman who would tell one would tell one anything. - Oscar Wilde

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

There is only one real sin and that is to persuade oneself that the second best is anything but second best. - Doris Lessing

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life there is no such thing as algebra. - Fran Lebowitz

I think that most people would rather face the light of a real enemy than the darkness of their imagined fears. - Max Brooks

One of the endearing things about mathematicians is the extent to which they will go to avoid doing any real work. - Matthew Pordage

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

There's three sides to every story. There's your story, there's my story, and there's the real story. - Ben Spurlock

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. - Plato

You can always tell a real friend: when you make a fool of yourself, he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job. - Laurence Peter

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

The man with the real sense of humor is the man who can put himself in the spectator's place and laugh at his own misfortune. - Bert Williams

I think what's going on with gorillas is pretty bad. The fact is that you can buy gorilla meat in London any day you want it. - Adam Ant

The very things we wish to avoid, neglect and flee from turn out to be the 'prima materia' from which all real growth comes. - Andrew Harvey

Personal columnists are jackals and no jackal has been known to live on grass once he had learned about meat - no matter who killed the meat for him. - Ernest Hemingway


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