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Nice Try, Mom

Taking the calories out of fast food

Nice Try, Mom thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Diet plans that look better than the alternative

QuotaBills
Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

We take the hamburger business more seriously than anyone else. - Ray Kroc

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all. - Phyllis Diller

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

Man who invented the hamburger was smart; man who invented the cheeseburger was a genius. - Matthew McConaughey

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. - Herb Caen

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology. - Clive James

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

I have done a Hamburger Helper commercial, a Hardees commercial, a McDonalds commercial. American Express commercial. - Luke Benward

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake


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