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Message From The Wife

Eat more fruit - key ingredient for a healthy marital relationship

My friend got home late last night after a full day of golfing and drinking with the boys, and his wife left a message in the kitchen for him. I guess she wants him to eat more fruit...
Message From The Wife thanks to Barry McCartney

Secrets to a successful long-term relationship or marriage

QuotaBills
To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is? - Frank Scully

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

A man is often too young to marry, but a man is never too old to love. - Finnish Proverb

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

I was going to marry a gardener, but he was too rough around the hedges. - Unknown

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

Sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure. - Oscar Wilde

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Miles Kington

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

Getting married is easy. Staying married is more difficult. Staying happily married for a lifetime should rank among the fine arts. - Roberta Flack

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson


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