#1 humor site on the 'net

Low Budget Tree

Looking for an unnatural Christmas tree?

Low Budget Tree thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Bubba's bootiful Christmas tree

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Budget: a way of going broke methodically. - Groucho Marx

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

Mexico: where life is cheap, death is rich, and the buzzards are never unhappy. - Edward Abbey

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

Gorilla tourism is vital to Rwanda's economy: It's the third highest source of income. - Andy Serkis

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

There's no point in wasting calories on cheap chocolate, always opt for the darkest and richest. - Nanci Rathbun

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Servers make very little in regular wages and largely rely on tips to pay the bills and budget for weeks ahead. - Kevin McCarthy

Women are the most powerful magnet in the universe. And all men are cheap metal. And we all know where north is. - Larry Miller

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Taking The Bait

Puppy Circle

Prehistoric Flash Drive

Hair Weavers

Chemical Solutions

Stealth Snake

Coffee Morning

WrenchWare

Pushing The Envelope

Social Media Explained

Pumping Services

Turn Into Lanes

Bull Squirrel

Sleep With Us

One Tough Lady!

Meep Meep

Just Thinking

Boneless Bananas

Fallen Heroes

Best Way To Honor The Fallen

Veterans Day Holiday

Life of Freedom and Peace

It's A Pittance Of Time

Patriot Blood