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How To Burn Fat

Simple diet plan for those with a will to succeed

How To Burn Fat thanks to Liz Ward, Squamish, B.C.

Quicker than liposuction and easy to start

QuotaBills
I'm a fat anorexic. - Kiri Te Kanawa

Burn rubber, not your soul, baby. - Craig Fernandez

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

It's better to burn out than to fade away. - Neil Young

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

Tell the men to fire faster and not give up the ship. - Captain James Lawrence

We must rekindle the fire of idealism in our society. - Joe Biden

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. - Jackie Gleason

If someone's lying, are their pants really on fire? - Jerry Seinfeld

Words are only painted fire; a book is the fire itself. - Mark Twain

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

The inner fire is the most important thing mankind possesses. - Edith Sodergran

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money. - Marlon Brando

I find there is only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

Yesterday is ashes; tomorrow wood. Only today does the fire burn brightly. - Eskimo Proverb

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60. - Jack Nicholson

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

What progress we are making. In the Middle Ages they would have burned me. Now they are content with burning my books. - Sigmund Freud

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

To have a curable illness and to leave it untreated except for prayer is like sticking your hand in a fire and asking God to remove the flame. - Sandra L. Douglas

Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia. - Jimmy Fallon

Well, yes, I've fired a lot of people. Generally I like other people to fire, because it's always a lousy task. But I have fired many people. - Donald Trump


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