#1 humor site on the 'net

Happy Mother's Day

Kids are even more special on Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Celebrating Mom's special day with something white

QuotaBills
Take my wife - please! - Henny Youngman

Necessity is the mother of attraction. - Luke McKissack

Getting caught is the mother of invention. - Robert Byrne

You trust your mother, but you cut the cards. - Unknown

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. - Spanish Proverb

You're not famous until my mother has heard of you. - Jay Leno

Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it. - Unknown

Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face. - George Eliot

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. - Rodney Dangerfield

She's descended from a long line her mother listened to. - Gypsy Rose Lee

The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. - Mark Twain

The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology. - Ray Romano

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield

My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

My perspective on my mother has changed immensely. She was a lot taller when I was younger. - Howie Mandel

My mother had this amazing attitude in the face of everything, including when she got cancer. - Bill Clinton

In Las Vegas, a man said to his wife, "Give me the money I told you not to give me." - Henny Youngman

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago. - Will Rogers

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall. A mother's secret hope outlives them all. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

I am one of those cliff-hanging Catholics. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that Mary was his mother. - Martin Sheen

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren


Revolutionary Cooking

Fish View

Pilot Bike

Stealth Woman

1st Rolex

Dish Dryer

Young Mechanic

Angry Mathematician

McLobster

Cliff Walks

Reading Chair

Puzzle Ad

Feeding Time

Rural Free Delivery

Urban Camper

Fractured Foot or Hand?

Yolkswagon

March of the Penguins - Canadian Version

Shoelusion

Almost Done

Swim Vacation

Foot Circle

Sumo Fault

Psychic Fair