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Grandma's Controller

Helping Grandma with the TV controller

Grandma's Controller thanks to Jim Serritella

Understanding Universal Remote Controls

QuotaBills
Imitation is the sincerest form of television. - Fred Allen

Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me! - Homer Simpson

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. - Phyllis Diller

Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control. - Steven Wright

Bed is like the womb, only drier and with better TV reception. - Linda Richman

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

TV is simply a place where people go when they get tired of thinking. - Kevin Devitte

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. - Jerry Seinfeld

Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison

Your attitude towards anything in life is completely under your control. - Micah Lacerte

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough. - Mario Andretti

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

If you want to control someone, all you have to do is to make them feel afraid. - Paulo Coelho

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? - Dick Cavett

She was starting to think that it might be fun to be in control of the universe. - Nicki Elson

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

The wise man should be prepared for everything that does not lie within his control. - Pythagoras

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts. - Orson Welles

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2. - David Coleman

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth. - Archie Bunker

The control of large numbers is possible, and like unto that of small numbers, if we subdivide them. - Sun Tze

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. - Dale Carnegie

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


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