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Girlfriends

Will your friends outlive your husband?

Girlfriends thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Elderly friends make for good relationships

QuotaBills
A good husband is healthy and absent. - Japanese Proverb

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Can you fix my husband? He says he's broke. - Unknown

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

My husband is a general's chauffeur somewhere in France. - Lillie Langtry

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

Here's to our wives and girlfriends - may they never meet. - Groucho Marx

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money. - Joey Adams

Obscenity is whatever happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate. - Bertrand Russell

My husband's German. Every night I get dressed up as Poland and he invades me. - Bette Midler

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America. - Donald Trump

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? - Phyllis Diller

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me. - Groucho Marx

Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can even call yourself a beginner. - Jerry Seinfeld

My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them. - Steven Wright

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

I don't sit around thinking that I'd like to have another husband; only another man would make me think that way. - Lauren Bacall

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

A husband is a guy who tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. - Ogden Nash

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer


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