#1 humor site on the 'net

Excalibutter

Excalibur ... sword of

Excalibutter thanks to Jeff Enns

Manufacturer of hunting crossbutter and spread-around equipment

QuotaBills
Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Ireland Proverb

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

Flour and butter, cream and sugar, words and images - all the ingredients for a rich, tasty story. - Rona Simmons

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie


Hye Spirits

Bat Shade

Party Frog

Designer Dog

Redneck Repair Kit

5th Beatle

Redneck Wine Rack

Domino Telephone Booths

Saudi Paddleboarders

Extreme Littering

British Hairways

With Or Without The Beatles

How To Improve Your Car's Radio Reception

Stop And Smell The Flowers

Night Watch

Leg Works

Laws Of Physics For Goats

Saskatchewan Roads

Join Me For A Swim

The Netherlands Canadian Tulip

Good To The Last Drop

Why Bearded Men Never Shave

Keep Right

Check Coffee Level