#1 humor site on the 'net

Excalibutter

Excalibur ... sword of

Excalibutter thanks to Jeff Enns

Manufacturer of hunting crossbutter and spread-around equipment

QuotaBills
Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie


Samurai Sudoku Puzzles E

Auto Warranty: New Extend-ed Coverage

Lost Dog

Under Control

Rap Piano

Car Jump

Zipbridge

Snow Safe

How To Reduce Complaints at Work

Redneck License Plate

Truly Tasteless Veggie

Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Weight Watchers Bus

Fluent Sarcasm

Letting Your Hair Down

Jigsaw Sudoku Puzzles E

Car Wrecker

LiverPool

Mal Nutrition

Bar Walker

Snowbound Train

Tomato IV

Corset Bound

Things Bottled Up