#1 humor site on the 'net

Eat Here

Self service flatulent diner for unleaded customers

Eat Here thanks to Melanie Thompson

Redneck restaurant for those with high octane needs

QuotaBills
The appetite grows by eating. - Francois Rabelais

PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals - Unknown

Bonjour, you cheese-eating surrender monkeys. - Groundskeeper Willie

I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach. - WC Fields

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson

We're eating dinner soon. Don't fill up on homework. - Alex Baze

When eating bamboo sprouts, remember the man who planted them. - China Proverb

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame. - Kohta Hirano

I'm such a foodie. If I see a pork chop, I'm eating it. - Josh Henderson

No man is lonely eating spaghetti; it requires so much attention. - Christopher Morley

Her face looked like something on the menu in a seafood restaurant. - Woody Allen

Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go. - Truman Capote

You cannot come to a Nigerian restaurant without having pepper soup. - Ben Okri

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in a 7-Eleven, OK? - Dennis Miller

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. - Unknown

You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans. - Ronald Reagan

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts. - Orson Welles

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

Of course I have played outdoor games. I once played dominoes in an open air cafe in Paris. - Oscar Wilde

Being kissed by a man who doesn't wax his moustache is like eating an egg without salt. - Rudyard Kipling

I love eating sushi and eating raw and clean - no pasta and bread. Low carbs is what works for me. - Christine Teigen

It was really strange to see all these apes standing around eating popcorn, smoking, wearing sunglasses. - Estella Warren

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson

I went to a fancy French restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?" - Steven Wright

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

Economies of scale are a good thing. If we didn't have them, we'd still be living in tents and eating buffalo. - Jamie Dimon

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

I'm always interested in finding the new trend. If you love pizza every day, after 22 years of eating pizza, you want to try sushi. - Jean Pigozzi

One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating. - Luciano Pavarotti

Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus


Japanese Yen for Downside Housing

2019 Hooters Owl & Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Zoo Invitation

Pencil Shavings

Hidey Ho, Neighbour!

Ed In Burgh

Safe Working Practices?

Shade Stockings

Ex-Pilot

Stair Substitute

Alaska Phone Booth

How to Prepare a Man for His Funeral

Crap Flavoured Instant Noodles

Three Cats Ago

Burnt Out Driver

1-800-PILLCASH

Bike Chaser

Bad Hair Day

Diehard Fans

Word Puzzle Clock

Skateboard Stairs

Quartz Inaccuracy

Graffiti Art

Redneck Wave Runner