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Cosmetic Car

Car for the well-prepared feminist driver

Cosmetic Car thanks to Howard Chapman

Preparing for every possible situation and opportunity

QuotaBills
I like perfume and flowers. - Donatella Versace

The lady doth protest too much. - Queen Gertrude

What Britain needs is an iron lady. - Margaret Thatcher

Fame is the perfume of heroic deeds. - Socrates

There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness. - Lady Marguerite Blessington

No one is in your mind - you are its only driver. - Unknown

Taking joy in life is a woman's best cosmetic. - Rosalind Russell

To my embarrassment, I was born in bed with a lady. - Wilson Mizner

This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humour section. - John Callahan

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

Sometimes I consider myself as a feminist, whatever that means. - Sarah Palin

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. - Mark Twain

There is not so variable a thing in nature as a lady's head-dress. - Joseph Addison

The most beautiful make-up is passion but cosmetics are easier to buy. - Yves Saint Laurent

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead. - Tommy Bolt

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

The most beautiful makeup for a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy. - Yves St. Laurent

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead. - Mac McCleary

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't. - Margaret Thatcher

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. - George Bernard Shaw

Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm kind of honored to be a dragon lady. The dragon is a very powerful, mythical animal. - Yoko Ono

Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick. - Gwyneth Paltrow

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. - Jay Leno

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid. - Jane Austen

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised. - Dorothy Parker

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. - George Jean Nathan

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady, and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. - P.J. O'Rourke

Tolerance is the worst roar of all, including tolerance for homosexuals, feminists, and religions that don't follow Christ. - Josh McDowell

A husband is a guy who tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. - Ogden Nash

She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!" - Red Skelton

Don't let the age on your driver's license determine your season in life. Everyone's growing seasons look a bit different. - Vicki Kuyper

If you are really Master of your Fate,
It shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate. - Ogden Nash

I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker


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Patio Losers

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Model T Snowmobile

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Ordnance Table

Wine Bibber

Redneck Wireless Selfie

Tylenol Ban