#1 humor site on the 'net

Caught by a Speed Camera

Why it's difficult to beat some speeding tickets

Caught by a Speed Camera thanks to Carson Graham

How to turn a Fiat Uno into a Fiat Oh-No

QuotaBills
Unsafe at any speed. - Ralph Nader

Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein

OK, so what's the speed of dark? - Steven Wright

Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. - Homer

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

Speed is not a priority, just enjoy your hike. - Barry Putra

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

There is more to life than increasing its speed. - Mahatma Gandhi

The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau

The important thing is not the camera but the eye. - Alred Eisenstaedt

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Walter Mondale has all the charisma of a speed bump. - Will Durst

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy. - Von Clausewitz

I am not a speed reader.
I am a speed understander. - Isaac Asimov

The speed of the leader determines the rate of the pack. - Wayne Lukas

So many catastrophes in love are only accidents of egotism. - Hector Bianciotti

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. - Steven Wright

Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

When you're over the hill, that's when you pick up speed. - Quincy Jones

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

I aimed at the public's heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach. - Upton Sinclair

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

One should really use the camera as though tomorrow you'd be stricken blind. - Dorothea Lange

A great athlete does not come from muscle, speed, and skill, but from the mind first. - Dan E. Welker

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature but beautiful old people are works of art. - Unknown

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances. - Aristotle

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman

Every street in London has a camera, and if you ever travel up the M4, it feels as if George Orwell should be your chauffeur. - Don McCullin

I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. - Steven Wright

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele


India Road Assistance

Cow Walking

Cultural Exchange

Meowzart

Bonus Baby

Strawberry Heart

Water Skiing in Russia

Plumber's Party

Hand Face

Moon Harvest

Reach For The High-Hanging Fruit

CheckMate

Ship Tow

Redneck Turkey Shoot

Costco Wine

Downer Parking

Baconurkey

Camel Herders of the 21st Century

Redneck Palm Pilot

Turkey Day Selfie

Spool Turkey

Meal Alert

Turkey Not

Thanksgiving Harvest Time