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Canadian Car Crash

Please excuse me for interrupting your day

Canadian Car Crash thanks to Jerry VanHorne

Things are a little different in Canada

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Canada was built on dead beavers. - Margaret Atwood

Canada first, Canada last, Canada always. - Wilfrid Laurier

It's too late Edith, my bus has sailed. - Archie Bunker

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

Sorry, I'm still a dialectical materialist. - Fidel Castro

Alimony is always having to say you're sorry. - Philip Simborg

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

You have to know a man awfully well in Canada to know his surname. - John Buchan

I've only been to these foreign countries: Canada, L.A. and Miami. - Larry the Cable Guy

I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for "Running off to Canada." - Jay Leno

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

When God created the world, he didn't draw a line between Canada and America. - Marianne Williamson

As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland. - Donald Trump

I felt sorry for myself because I had no hands until I met a man who had no chips. - Kent Andersson

Canada is the only country in the world that knows how to live without an identity. - Marshall McLuhan

I'm kinda disapointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was. - Joel Madden

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew. - Unknown

Canada is a good country to be from. It has a gentler slower pace - it lends perspective. - Paul Anka

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

I am on your Walk of Fame in Toronto. My sense of humour is Canadian. But I can't vote. - Donald Sutherland

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

South Africa is the most beautiful country I have been to. Canada is also hugely underrated. - Honor Blackman

There's an old saying, "Ya don't keep runnin' after you catch the bus." - Archie Bunker

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

I think every entrepreneur in Canada owes the next generation a road map of how to do it again. - Kevin O'Leary

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

Trudeau's contribution was not to build Canada but to destroy it, and I had to come in and save it. - Brian Mulroney

The only way we can ever teach a child to say "I'm sorry" is for him to hear it from our lips first. - Kevin Leman

Canada has given us John Candy and Martin Short and Bill Shatner and Lord knows how many other wonderful performers. - Jamie Farr

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

Canada is a balloon-puncturing country. You are not really allowed to be an icon unless you also make an idiot of yourself. - Margaret Atwood

Three of the most difficult phrases people can't say:
1. I love you
2. I'm sorry
3. I don't know - Joe Segal

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations - it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir. - Stuart Keate

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. - Oprah Winfrey

Exert your talents, and distinguish yourself, and don't think of retiring from the world, until the world will be sorry that you retire. - Samuel Johnson


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