#1 humor site on the 'net

British League of Pessimists

Joking on National No Smiling Day?

British League of Pessimists thanks to Jill Hamelin

Pessimism - a state of mind in which one anticipates undesirable outcomes

Pessimism - a state of mind in which one anticipates undesirable outcomes, or believes that the hardships in life outweigh the good

QuotaBills
Scotland is the Canada of England. - Rainn Wilson

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh

The pessimist is half-licked before he starts. - Thomas A. Buckner

I just like to smile. Smiling's my favorite. - Buddy the Elf

He had a dashing smile. It nearly dashed right off his face. - Shannon Hale

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

A smile takes but a moment, but the memories of it last forever. - Unknown

There'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood. - Bob Hope

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

I have witnessed the softening of the hardest of hearts by a simple smile. - Goldie Hawn

Success is when you look back at your life and the memories make you smile. - Phoebe L. Moll

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

But the man worthwhile is the one who will smile when everything goes dead wrong. - Ella Wheeler Wilcox

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists. - Jean Rostand

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity. - Oscar Wilde

Never let life's hardships disturb you... no one can avoid problems, not even saints or sages. - Nichiren Daishonen

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark. - Duncan Spaeth

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. - Steven Wright

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. - Winston Churchill

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

If there be a God, I think that what he would like me to do is paint as much of the map of Africa British red as possible. - Cecil Rhodes

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay


Baconurkey

Camel Herders of the 21st Century

Redneck Palm Pilot

Turkey Day Selfie

Spool Turkey

Meal Alert

Turkey Not

Thanksgiving Harvest Time

Turkey Wants You To Eat Pork

Going Cold Turkey

Bacon Turkey

Run, Turkey, Run

Biggest Turkeys

Turkish Architecture

Ghost Food

Turkey Weather Forecast

'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

Redneck Car Upgrade

Box Fill Overload

Hiding Horse

Traffic Jam Intersection

Re-Cycled Beef

Open? Nope

Tree Hugger Car