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Bonus Baby

From Planned Parenthood to Surprise Parenthood

Bonus Baby thanks to Warren Ralston

Budgeting for two - affording twins

QuotaBills
Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

The secret to humor is surprise. - Aristotle

Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise. - Alice Walker

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself. - Steve Martin

Very few people know this man was born an only twin. - Henny Youngman

Stop crime at its source - support planned parenthood. - Robert Byrne

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Memory is a complicated thing, a relative to truth but not its twin. - Barbara Kingsolver

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

The man who is ostentatious of his modesty is twin to the statue that wears a fig-leaf. - Mark Twain

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. - Joseph Campbell

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

What a surprise to find you could shift the contents of your head like rearranging furniture in a room. - Lisa Alther

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. - George S Patton

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

I'm into all that sappy stuff - a surprise picnic, nice dinner, or traveling. I'm kind of an old romantic. - Will Estes

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik


Designer Lamp

Scottish Road Sign

Too Late Now

How Paper Beats Rock

Joburg Police

Behind Curtain Number One

One More Drop

Changing Priorities

Made His Bed

Dog Sled

Only In Canada - Nosey Moose

Camper Tank

Plane Pushers

Wise Electricity Use

Critter Control

Redneck Ice Fishing

Skeletons In The Closet

Captive Audience Twins

Brew Table

Nailed It Baby

Water Supply

Holding His Own Portraits

Hawaii Scuba Bus

Chicken Pie