#1 humor site on the 'net

Boneless Inverted Pork

I wonder what they taste like when they're not inverted...

Boneless Inverted Pork thanks to Howard Chapman

QuotaBills
Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

Photographing a cake can be art. - Irving Penn

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

In Congress, it's all pork, all the time. - Jim Cooper

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Bacon: the main reason you are not a vegetarian. - Unknown

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

Mmmm, pork chops and bacon... my two favorite animals. - Homer Simpson

I love super crispy, almost burned, snapping-crispy bacon. - David Lynch

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

Look a pig in its eyes, and understand the truth behind bacon. - Mango Wodzak

A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock

Even apocalypse looks less dire when viewed over a plate of bacon. - Stephanie Stamm

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

We have always said that advertising is just the icing on the cake. It is not the cake. - Meg Whitman

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence. Eat bacon. - Unknown

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

Special day! Oh, what have I forgotten now? Now, don't panic. Is it Bacon Day? No, that’s crazy talk! - Homer

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie

He who cannot eat horsemeat need not do so. Let him eat pork. But he who cannot eat pork, let him eat horsemeat. It's simply a question of taste. - Nikita Khrushchev


One-Knight Stands

Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather

Backpack Barney

My Sweet Potato

Who Needs a Guard Dog?

My Next Life