#1 humor site on the 'net

Big Hands Baby

Growing up to his full potential a little too early

Big Hands Baby thanks to Heather Pulfer

Little Johnny was born a natural comedian

QuotaBills
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

The worst children are always somebody else's. - Unknown

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose. - Steven Wright

The best thing to spend on your children is your time. - Louise Hart

A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer. - Unknown

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

Our children are only as brilliant as we allow them to be. - Eric Micha'el Leventhal

Children should neither be seen nor heard from - ever again. - WC Fields

When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it. - Sigmund Freud

I look in the mirror through the eyes of the child that was me. - Judy Collins

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

No one was ever great without some portion of divine inspiration. - Cicero

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The real pros get up and go to work. - Harvey Mackay

I'm contributing to the, waddya call, on the loosincy of a child. - Archie Bunker

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. - Thomas Edison

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - John Wooden

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

Children are paparazzi. They take your picture when you don't want them to. - Jamie Lee Curtis

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

The most important question in the world is, "Why is the child crying?" - Alice Walker

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. - Pablo Picasso

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

The affection you get back from children is sixpence given as change for a sovereign. - Edith Nesbit

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. - Dave Barry

Children's games are hardly games. Children are never more serious than when they play. - Michel de Montaigne

When I was a child, I wanted to raise horses in Wyoming or be a cabin boy on a pirate ship. - Sadie Jones

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children. - Unknown

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

During World War II children were not allowed to trick or treat because there was a sugar shortage. - Linda Bozzo

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

Spare the rod and spoil the child - that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well. - Martin Luther

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Most of what we object to as misconduct in children is a natural rebellion against the intrusion of an unimaginative adult despotism in their lives. - Floyd Dell


Worst Aid

Mexican Recliners

Size Matters

Leadership Skills

Bottom Dweller

Gene Lifeguard

Portable Shower

Cut-Off Deadline

Kid Disposal

Racing a 'Hot Rod'

Why Elk Have Long Antlers

Biting Shoes

Romanian Auto Safety

New Player

Hoser

Garden Gnome

Hotel Waterfall

Security Guard

Real FootBall

Burger King Street

SkeleChair

Eating Kaka

Dark Side Bus Stop

Escher Stairs