#1 humor site on the 'net

Worst Aid

When you know you've tried CPR resuscitation too long

Worst Aid thanks to Wayne Nowazek

First Aid courses for the elderly and by the elderly

QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Good taste is the worst vice ever invented. - Edit Sitwell

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

Darkness gives free rein to the mind's worst imaginings. - Jocelyn Murray

To know what is right and not to do it is the worst cowardice. - Confucius

Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes. - Zig Ziglar

That's your best friend and your worst enemy - your own brain. - Fred Durst

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

"Be Yourself" is about the worst advice you can give to people. - Mark Twain

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Prison is the worst experience I've ever had in my life - besides death. - Duane Chapman

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

If you are your worst critic, don't be angry if others try to claim the title. - Faydra D. Fields

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got. - Art Buchwald

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

The worst excuse you could ever come up for not turning in homework is that you have no one to copy it from. - Unknown

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

If you have a success you have it for the wrong reasons. If you become popular it is always because of the worst aspects of your work. - Ernest Hemingway

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller


Bacon Balls

Fast Closure

Ukrainian Feast

1934 Modern Home

Fliptus

Copper Tubing Specialist

Bach Off Van

Boss Resume

Canadian Gun Shop

Hogwart's Other Bridge

Excalibutter

As The World Turns

Bird Condo

Legal Assistance For All

Chinese Law School

Do Not Stack

Stairway Chute

Walkway Not

Pirate Vacation

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Redneck Spaghetti

Wild Game Nutrition Guide

Alaska Gas

Definition Of A Good Friend